We had a normal Sunday today. We got up, 45 minutes before we had to leave for church, and I rushed everyone around to get ready and out the door. We made it! This is a big accomplishment considering we haven't been to church as a family since early August. I can tell you I didn't sleep the entire night before. I had horrible dreams and the anxiety mounted all night long. I felt ready on a spiritual level to get back, but emotionally I was a wreck. Worrying about if people who didn't know what was going on would stare, and if people who did know what was going on would stare, my legs were shaky my heart was racing as I walked up to the door with the girls. I made it though, we went in sat through service saw a few friends, and came home. Nate watched football I got all the laundry and a few odds and ends caught up for the week, and made a trip to Walmart. Then I came home and MADE dinner for our family, not even just thawing out something frozen I actually put together a meal, a meal like no other, the Sunday evening meal that would make any Mom proud.... hot dogs, Velveeta shells and cheese, and green beans :) but I didn't stop there OH NO, I even got dessert... we topped off dinner with root beer floats!!! Then we got the kids ready for school tomorrow, and put them to bed. It was a very non-eventful day honestly, but it was a regular Sunday, and we haven't had one of those in a long time, it felt great!
Tomorrow should be just another manic Monday, and then Tuesday I have my last of the first 4 chemo treatments. This is kind of a mile marker because the first 4 treatments are said to be the hardest, and let me tell you the last one was horrible, and my oncologist said the next will probably be worse. After this one I have a week off and then I begin my weekly chemo treatments. I am NOT looking forward to my treatment this week. The thought of it makes me very emotional. In fact even the last time I began feeling nauseated on the way to chemo before we even made it to Goshen, and this time I anticipate it to be no different. Its so hard to get through one chemo, and finally start to feel better, then have to do it all over again knowing not only will it be as bad as the last time, but worse. I guess no one ever said this would be easy....thank goodness for "A Regular Sunday".