Sunday, July 31, 2011

make-up and contacts

Putting on a brave face for my kids as they return home today. I know they will be able to see the physical difference by just looking at me so I wanted to look as otherwise normal as possible. I'm so worried about them worrying. I think as each new person has visited that I haven't seen since the surgery I cry at least once, so I know my emotions can come out at anytime so I just want to seem as fine as I can when my kids get home. Obviously Mommy being in bed all day everyday isn't normal, and when I saw them last I hid all of my drains and chest. Today I put on some make up put my contacts in and did my hair to the best of my ability. I hope they can get past this I will do everything in my power to make this time for them as normal as possible.

I'm still so sleepy today. I haven't taken anything for pain yet today, but am having a little. Since this whole surgery in itself is new to me I didn't realize I'd still be so tired after so many days.


Kendra said...

Heather ~ they just want to see you, they won't care about anything else. It's ok to cry with them. I was afraid when I went through my diagnosis, surgery and treatments that my kids (5yrs & 8 yrs at the time) would be afraid of me ~ but they weren't. In fact, they helped me through some of the most difficult and painful days. They just want to sit with you, lay down and take a nap with you, play a game, read together, watch a movie. Just spend time together ~ that's all that really matters.

You were on my heart today during our church service at ROCC. Know that you are in our prayers. When I look back now, I remember feeling so loved and cared for during that time. People want to help ~ let them. It will help you but also help them. It is not an inconvience to them because they WANT to help your family.

Don't forget to laugh ~ even about the stupid little things. It really helps ~ even when you are crying.

You are in great hands at the Goshen Cancer Center. I spent lots of time talking to Rita (she is wonderful) and still see my Oncologist & his Nurse Prac., Dr Pennington/Dena, twice a year. The staff is TOPS!

Enjoy your kids today ~ that's all that matters today.

Hugs, Kendra

jpinkpanda7 said...

Heather you are so strong and amazing. I am so happy Nate is such a wonderful support for you. He is amazing! Your kids are tough and they will know how to support you in their own ways. I can only imagine how happy they will be to see their mommy..even if you are in bed. I am so glad your sharing your story..and it brings tears to my eyes knowing you have to go through all of this. Thankfully not alone and with so much love and support! Just remember that your are beautiful no matter what.