Some days the emotions are good, like today, and then all the sudden BAM! I feel like I'm flying down the emotional highway. All because someone walked by the house.
As a women I've always noticed if my husband glaces at another women, intentionally or not. Now that I've had my surgery and lost one of the things that attracts my husband to me its amplified times a million. Of course I know in my head he isn't looking at women because he is necessarily attracted to them, it could have been just because they walked by or came over or we're watching TV, but I'm jealous that something that I once had has been stolen from me, and that my husband can no longer be attracted to me in that way. I know there are many other things that he is attracted to, but lets face it the vast majority of men, are sexual driven. I'm not going to get real personal here, but my husband is no exception, and to feel like I'm unable to please him kills me.
So sitting on the porch today was nice, I enjoyed the fresh air and the sunshine, but seeing people out and about doing there thing was hard, it frustrates me, it hurts me, it makes me sad. I want it back, I want my normal back!