pieces of paper

That is all a book is...pieces of paper bound together. I'll admit I'm not a big reader, but there are on occasion books I'll pick up and read. I mentioned in an early post that I had gotten a few books from people for support and encouragement, and I fully intend to read them all. Any bit of hope I can get I'll take it, but today's gift of a book seems to be "emotional stage appropriate" Its called, What Cancer Cannot Do. Last Thursday at my chemo education appt. I got a huge binder filled with pages of what Cancer (chemo) is going to do. Its so overwhelming when I talk to people about it I can only remember half of what it says. But today has been a good day. I got to chat with a friend I haven't seen in a while, and she brought us dinner for tonight which always lightens the burdens of the day, and her Mom sent me this new book. This afternoon Nate took the kids to their 6 month dental check up and I have quiet house to myself. So I turned my favorite direct tv music channel for a little mild modern country, so far a great line up of Taylor Swift, Rascel Flatts, and Carrie Underwood, and I began to read this book... I got to the 6th page and read the most appropriate verse for my right now.
" Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" Matt 6:14
The chapter was even amazing it seemed to summarize what I've been feeling the last couple of weeks. Talking about how once you have cancer most of our life worries seem so trivial, and more of our worries fall to what is important in life. Living each day as if its our last. I know if you've ever been to church or seen any type of motivational speaker you've probably heard this said, and we always walk away thinking its a great idea, but I've go bills and kids and work and relationships. And yes, it all matters, but I guess from this new perspective what matters are what bills do I have to have and what can I live without, have I told my kids I loved them today or sat down and played with them, did I work hard today or just show up, and in my relationship do we fight because we love each other or do we fight because we can't forgive.

The chapter ends with this "Psalm 90:12 tells us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. In may ways cancer is a wake up call that tells  us we must stop worrying about a future that we cannot control and a past that is already behind us. It is a reminder to start thinking about what really matters. It is a mandate to boot ourselves out of the recliner of sorrow and self-pity, grab a hold of healing and get back to work. It is a mandate to love each day because no matter what it brings, God gives us this day and he will be with us in it."

I hope that even though most of you haven't had cancer to give you this perspective you will take it and do it  anyway. Thanks Tiff and Connie. You are both a blessing.